I little bit back, Gritty Pretty left a comment on a blog post about guilt ...And I worry about kids who are surrounded by adults who don't make growing up look like a cool thing to do.
I had actually been thinking about that very thing. I've read about America's cultural obsession with youth. I can see it all around me. Admittedly, there have been times of my life that I have wanted to bounce off the page, like paint squirted into a spin art machine. I remember my red plastic spin art kit. I can just smell that paint and hear it whizzing. It was soooo exciting to see what would be on that paper as it finally came to a stop. And that slap, slap, slapping paint that was wasted, too many colors making it brownish, dripping all goopy down the sides. My heart feels like that sometimes, slap, slap, slapping goo against the walls of my ribcage. What I'm really trying to say ( I got a little carried away there) is that there are times I've wanted/ have busted out of my "grown-up" construct.
The thing is, this season of my life is proving ever more amazing to me...and I like it. I keep looking in the mirror at my maturing skin and I'm intrigued. I look like a grown up and I think it's kind of cool but all of that is less important ...and that's the beauty of it, realizing how unimportant it is. So many things don't seem so important and that is so liberating. See what just happened there? That little epiphany about aging is exactly what I think is so amazing. Life keeps giving me these little gifts, little understandings, moments of clarity that change my perception of things, giving me more and more freedom. I'm learning not to run away from or toward anything, I just am and it feels so nice on the inside. I think it's what makes this second half of life so good. Whew, what a relief. I'm glad that the first half of my fortieth year wasn't a disappointment. And high five to Quelicious, I do want my kittens to know that growing up is pretty cool.
5 comments:
A philosophical question: Does your riding a big wheel deny or confirm that growing up is cool?
isn't that gritty pretty awesome.
and i suppose i should stop the small mourning i have each day my kids get bigger. i mean, it's mixed with joy, but still, you're right, they need to learn to love each stage.
Nigel- cool...duh! Actually it's an "I don't care what anybody thinks, I like doing this even if I look a little crazy bust'n down the driveway and spinning out."
Pamo-loved your kid's art show. You rawk.
hey cass,
i love the spin art analogy! haha!
spin art is so messy!
slap slap. goo.
i've run many spin art machines in my day and we always tell the kids to only use two drops from each bottle.
one of these days i'm going to break that rule and see what the mud looks like.
Nigel, that was hilarious. I laughed loud and hard. Thanks.
I love getting older! Awhile back, I got all excited on my blog that I was finally middle aged. I was then told by many that aside from being insane, I was also wrong. According to the dictionary, I won't be middle aged for another decade +.
I get on well with people older than me. Age is experience and wisdom. At least it SHOULD be. I highly respect that.
Additionally, with getting older, I have less fear and much, much more confidence in myself and in God.
When Nate and I were engaged I could hardly wait to be old and gray with him. I think it'll be a blast. It's great now, and I'm enjoying the journey and all that, but I look forward to those years.
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