No rain, no rainbows.
Friday night at the end of my show, as I started to let down and feel the tired from exerting all of that energy... and I was drained. I felt so much love from so many beautiful people that night but I still felt like someone had unplugged my heart and head. I asked Brian Kershisnik if after a show he falls into a funk and he said that he always does. He said he was in one right then actually because he had just finished a big project. I was glad to hear it because sometimes I feel like I'm not emotionally armed for this job.
My husband is sweet and patient and picks me up and brushes me off and waits for it to pass. My dad listens to me cry and reminds me that I should expect it and that it'll pass and not to make any rash decisions in this state of emotion and that it's just part of the job. My babies give me a little space to recover...and then, a tiny little dot at a time, the color starts to reappear in my face. I get an email from Adah, my model in Vancouver that she has had her baby and she loves him. My daughter writes me a funny little letter and Dan fixes a super good dinner. I get two books about the symbolism of flowers in the mail that perk my interest in designing new work, and then I get a phone call from Gretchen Elsner who's very voice puts a smile on my face. She an amazing artist and person and makes me want to be like her. I get love from my family in word and action and I feel that love and want to give it back.
...and the funk is gone. Sigh. Whew. Now I'm ready and excited to get back to life and painting.
Passion is the force that springs an artist from the needling cushion of depression. Robert Genn