Sunday, September 16, 2007

Feeling Time

There are those moments, when comfort, like a lavender bath, like a soft blanket, warms my body and soul.

When people used to say, "I had a peaceful feeling" I didn't know what they meant. I've always been relatively happy, positive, cheery ...maybe a little too hyper in general. I know how to make fun around me. But this feeling, it's different, it's beautiful. It's strange to me that I feel it from on inside, from my soul, but it's a sensation like it's laid over me, on the outside, like a warm liquin glaze, and I am still, motionless inside of it.

It's being present in love and peace, unified with the earth and all things living. I thought the only way to have this feeling was illegal and bad for my body. It feels like all is right with the world and the universe, that everything is okay.

I worked hard all day yesterday. I did yard work and organizing and a bike ride. I cooked and cleaned and did laundry. I moved heavy things. I was exhausted. When the light outside started to turn, I laid in the hammock with my little one and observed and enjoyed the work I'd done. I was present. Then I sneaked into the studio for a little time alone in the silence.
I told my little ones my intentions but they must have felt it too because they quietly sneaked in and worked sweetly and happily. They didn't disrupt or demand, just swam in it with me.
I've spent years aiming and working for things on the outside, only to learn that what is inside is whole and good and beautiful, worth more anything. I'm just beginning to learn how to get it.


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3 comments:

Darlene said...

so, Cassie, what does the painting called "Valetina" mean? I guess I could just walk across the street and ack you, but this way is much for fun!!

cassandra said...

Valentina is a about cupid. Love hurts? Instead of arrows, this cupid is throwing knifes. Maybe it's a little disturbing but it was supposed to be a little bit funny too.

cassandra said...

P.S. Darlene, you can walk across the street anytime and check on me, especially if I'm painting knives.

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